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Does Chawin' Tobacco Increase Your RBIs ? by Dr. Ron Baran - Famous Schaumburgian Misanthrope Major league baseball players who use smokeless tobacco don’t hit, pitch, or field better than players who abstain from using it, according to a study published in the August issue of the Journal of the American Dental Association. In developing their study, researchers noted that baseball players believed the use of smokeless tobacco improved their ability to relax, concentrate and remain alert. During the spring training of 1988, several players also told researchers that using smokeless tobacco improved their athletic performance. The researchers, however, found that such beliefs are unfounded. Researchers at the University of Washington School of Dentistry and the University of California, San Francisco, School of Dentistry followed the performance of 158 baseball players on seven major league baseball teams during the 1988 season. They found that smokeless tobacco use is not related to player performance but does place these players at higher risk for mucosal lesions and oral cancer. The mean batting average for chewing tobacco users was .238 while the mean average for the non- users was .248. Likewise the smokeless tobacco users had a .968 fielding average while the non-users had a higher fielding percentage of .978. On the mound, smokeless tobacco users and non-users were similar as well. Pitchers who used smokeless tobacco had earned run averages (ERA) of 4.11 while non-users compiled ERAs of 4.20. Not surprisingly, the researchers also found that using smokeless tobacco did not improve player’s chances of making a major league roster in spring training. So the moral of this research is that chewing and spitting will not help you get into the majors. Kind of makes you wonder about the guys who did the research, doesn’t it. Like what motivated them and when do they plan to get a life. Setting up a research design based on chewing alone shows a singular lack of knowledge about the intricacies of the game. We all know that it’s not chewing that makes the man. It’s chewing and scratching. Yesiree. All you need to do is repeat the experiment including those who can chew and scratch at the same time. It’s kind of a variation of the walk and chew gum at the same time theory. It is widely known by all kids who have ever donned a little league uniform that the really good players have a plethora of truly disgusting habits. The kind of habits that are guaranteed to make moms in the stands cringe with shame. Mrs. Baran, wherever did your son learn that? All you need to do is go back to the Hall of Famers at Cooperstown. The hallowed halls are chuck full of scratchers of monumental proportions. As a pony leaguer in the mid 50’s I had the opportunity to take batting practice with the legendary Rogers Hornsby. Now there was a man who took disgusting habits to a new level. All of us kids never, ever wondered what it took to get into the majors. It took years for our mothers to get over all of the wonderful little idioms we learned at the batting clinic of the famous Mr. Hornsby. I don’t think that Henrietta was ever the same after that fateful summer. >	Does Chawin' Tobacco Increase Your RBIs ? For All Those Born Before 1945 Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care Deep Thoughts Oddities of Life You Get What You Pay For Some of Dr. B's Favorite Curmudgeon Quotes We're from Ameritech

Does Chawin' Tobacco
Increase Your RBIs ?

by Dr. Ron Baran - Famous Schaumburgian Misanthrope

Major league baseball players who use smokeless tobacco don’t hit, pitch, or field better than players who abstain from using it, according to a study published in the August issue of the Journal of the American Dental Association. In developing their study, researchers noted that baseball players believed the use of smokeless tobacco improved their ability to relax, concentrate and remain alert. During the spring training of 1988, several players also told researchers that using smokeless tobacco improved their athletic performance. The researchers, however, found that such beliefs are unfounded. Researchers at the University of Washington School of Dentistry and the University of California, San Francisco, School of Dentistry followed the performance of 158 baseball players on seven major league baseball teams during the 1988 season. They found that smokeless tobacco use is not related to player performance but does place these players at higher risk for mucosal lesions and oral cancer. The mean batting average for chewing tobacco users was .238 while the mean average for the non- users was .248. Likewise the smokeless tobacco users had a .968 fielding average while the non-users had a higher fielding percentage of .978.

On the mound, smokeless tobacco users and non-users were similar as well. Pitchers who used smokeless tobacco had earned run averages (ERA) of 4.11 while non-users compiled ERAs of 4.20. Not surprisingly, the researchers also found that using smokeless tobacco did not improve player’s chances of making a major league roster in spring training.

So the moral of this research is that chewing and spitting will not help you get into the majors. Kind of makes you wonder about the guys who did the research, doesn’t it. Like what motivated them and when do they plan to get a life. Setting up a research design based on chewing alone shows a singular lack of knowledge about the intricacies of the game. We all know that it’s not chewing that makes the man. It’s chewing and scratching. Yesiree. All you need to do is repeat the experiment including those who can chew and scratch at the same time. It’s kind of a variation of the walk and chew gum at the same time theory. It is widely known by all kids who have ever donned a little league uniform that the really good players have a plethora of truly disgusting habits. The kind of habits that are guaranteed to make moms in the stands cringe with shame. Mrs. Baran, wherever did your son learn that? All you need to do is go back to the Hall of Famers at Cooperstown. The hallowed halls are chuck full of scratchers of monumental proportions. As a pony leaguer in the mid 50’s I had the opportunity to take batting practice with the legendary Rogers Hornsby. Now there was a man who took disgusting habits to a new level. All of us kids never, ever wondered what it took to get into the majors. It took years for our mothers to get over all of the wonderful little idioms we learned at the batting clinic of the famous Mr. Hornsby. I don’t think that Henrietta was ever the same after that fateful summer.