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636 S Roselle Rd Schaumburg, IL 60193 847-895-8444

For All Those Born Before 1945 by Dr. Ron Baran - Famous Schaumburgian Misanthrope WE ARE SURVIVORS! Consider the changes we have witnessed! We were born before television, before penicillin, before polio shots, frozen foods, Zerox, plastic, contact lenses, Frisbees, and the PILL. We were before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ballpoint pens; before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric blankets, air conditioners, drip-dry clothes, and before man walked on the moon. We got married first and then we lived together. How quaint can you be? In our time, closets were for clothes, NOT FOR COMING OUT OF. Bunnies were small rabbits, and rabbits were NOT VOLKSWAGONS. Designer Jeans were scheming girls named Jean or Jeanne, having a meaningful relationship meant getting along well with your cousins. We thought fast food was what you ate during Lent, and Outer Space was the back of the movie theater. We were born before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers, and commuter marriages. We were before day-care centers, group therapy and nursing-homes. We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt, and guys wearing earrings. For us, Time Sharing meant togetherness, not computers or condominiums, a "chip" was a piece of wood, "hardware" meant hardware and software wasn’t even a word! In 1940, "Made in Japan" meant junk and the term "making out" referred to how you did on your exam. Pizzas, McDonald's and instant coffee were unheard of. We hit the scene when there were five and dime stores where you bought things that cost 5 and 10 cents. BRYERS sold ice cream cones for a nickel or a dime. For one nickel you could ride a trolly car, make a phone call, buy a Pepsi, or enough stamps to mail one letter and two post cards. You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford it? A pity too, because gas was 11 cents a gallon! In our day cigarette smoking was fashionable, GRASS was mowed, COKE was a cold drink, and POT was something you cooked in. Rock music was GrandMom’s lullaby, and AIDS were helpers in the principals office. We were certainly before the difference between the sexes was discovered and we were surely before the SEX CHANGE, we made do with what we had! We were the LAST generation that was so dumb as to think you needed a husband to have a baby! No wonder we are so confused and there is such a generation gap today! WE SURVIVED!! What better reason to celebrate? >	Does Chawin' Tobacco Increase Your RBIs ? For All Those Born Before 1945 Frequently Asked Questions About Health Care Deep Thoughts Oddities of Life You Get What You Pay For Some of Dr. B's Favorite Curmudgeon Quotes We're from Ameritech

For All Those Born Before 1945

by Dr. Ron Baran - Famous Schaumburgian Misanthrope

WE ARE SURVIVORS! Consider the changes we have witnessed!

We were born before television, before penicillin, before polio shots, frozen foods, Zerox, plastic, contact lenses, Frisbees, and the PILL.

We were before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ballpoint pens; before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric blankets, air conditioners, drip-dry clothes, and before man walked on the moon. We got married first and then we lived together. How quaint can you be?

In our time, closets were for clothes, NOT FOR COMING OUT OF. Bunnies were small rabbits, and rabbits were NOT VOLKSWAGONS.

Designer Jeans were scheming girls named Jean or Jeanne, having a meaningful relationship meant getting along well with your cousins. We thought fast food was what you ate during Lent, and Outer Space was the back of the movie theater.

We were born before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers, and commuter marriages. We were before day-care centers, group therapy and nursing-homes.

We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt, and guys wearing earrings.

For us, Time Sharing meant togetherness, not computers or condominiums, a "chip" was a piece of wood, "hardware" meant hardware and software wasn’t even a word! In 1940, "Made in Japan" meant junk and the term "making out" referred to how you did on your exam.

Pizzas, McDonald's and instant coffee were unheard of. We hit the scene when there were five and dime stores where you bought things that cost 5 and 10 cents. BRYERS sold ice cream cones for a nickel or a dime. For one nickel you could ride a trolly car, make a phone call, buy a Pepsi, or enough stamps to mail one letter and two post cards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford it? A pity too, because gas was 11 cents a gallon!

In our day cigarette smoking was fashionable, GRASS was mowed, COKE was a cold drink, and POT was something you cooked in. Rock music was GrandMom’s lullaby, and AIDS were helpers in the principals office. We were certainly before the difference between the sexes was discovered and we were surely before the SEX CHANGE, we made do with what we had! We were the LAST generation that was so dumb as to think you needed a husband to have a baby! No wonder we are so confused and there is such a generation gap today!

WE SURVIVED!! What better reason to celebrate?